The Quality of Life: 30 lbs Skinnier

A few days ago, I reached a new milestone in my weight loss: I am now 30 lbs thinner than I started last summer.

I have to say, my quality of life has improved drastically. Now, I don't just mean feeling healthier and stronger; I mean that the way men treat me is generally better than before.

Before, I would go out to bars and I would get hit on. Men would buy me drinks because they wanted to fuck me and have a one-night stand.

Now, I go to bars and I still get hit on. However, in addition to getting hit on as strictly a booty call, men buy me drinks now because they actually want to ask me out on dates. These men don't want to have sex with me right away because they want to take me out.

Take the other night, for example. I went out downtown with my friends Jamie and Mel from work. Their friend Gabe kept hitting on me and telling me that my ass is amazing. He told me the next day that he had wanted to have a threesome with Jamie and me.

I think he's off-limits though. First of all, Gabe had been hitting on Jamie as well, and she was flirting back. Since I really like Jamie, and think that she is definitely "my people," I do not want to take her guys. Second of all, I think Mel was saying that she fucks him on the side. Apparently, her boyfriend Nat, who also works with us, is okay with that. But she went out of her way to tell me that I can't steal her side dish.

In addition to that, this guy Joe came up to me and offered to buy me a drink and a shot. He kept telling me, over and over again, that I am extremely gorgeous and stunning. I was very flattered, because I was not wearing a stitch of makeup. Normally I wear it, but I hadn't had enough time to apply it before work that night. He told me that I have the most beautiful eyes and smile. He even went so far as to say that he had seen my friends, and he thought that I was far more attractive than any of them. I was stunned at this, because I happen to think that Jamie and Mel are very attractive girls. At the end of the night, Joe called me to make sure that I got home safe.

So not only did I have a guy buy me drinks to ask me out on a date, who kept giving me compliment after compliment and wanted to take care of me, but an attractive girl who does not know my history thought that I was a threat to one of her guys (which I guess I was, because he was hitting on me).

Another guy there, who is friends with Jamie, Mel, and Gabe, called me a "saucy little minx" and said that if he didn't have a serious long-time girlfriend, he would try to get with me. Once, Gabe told me to tell him something interesting. I started talking about how I had broken my vibrator. I can't even describe his reaction, but it was priceless.

Not only that, but on another occasion I told everyone that I watch Don Jon and masturbate. Nat was all, "...so who wants to go to the Red Box and rent Don Jon right now?" even though he is with Mel.

Moreover, men are just more willing to do me favors (ie take out the trash for me, drive me places, pay for my food when we are not on a date). Men are generally nicer to me now that I am 30 lbs skinnier.

I am really not used to this sort of attention. Now, I actually look good enough that I am attracting more positive attention from men than negative. I guess I must be more attractive than I realize. It's strange for me to think about, since I had grown up being called fat and ugly (mind you, I was about this same size when I was called fat).

It really shouldn't be this way, and it bothers me that it is true. While I wish that our society wasn't so looks-based, at least I'm thin enough now to reap the benefits. Who am I to complain that my life has gotten easier?

Novels, Work, Strength Training

I have not written in a long time, because I wrote my novel! Not the one I had mentioned before, but a different one.

It started because I was writing a story about what would happen in August when I get to see Tim. Then, the story took on a life of its own, and I told the story of last summer. The whole thing, in its entirety.

I feel much, much better after writing this novel. I would not say that I've forgiven myself quite yet, but I'm getting very close to that point.

I do not know if I will publish. A lot of people would be very unhappy if I did. Also, the story is extremely personal, and if I did publish it, I would be very vulnerable. On the other hand, if I published it, I might be able to help other people who have been in similar situations. Someone else might need to hear my words.

Anyway, the story is written, but I still have to edit.

I've been writing non-stop for the past week and a half. Basically all I've been doing is working, writing, and sleeping.

I did venture out a few days ago. I stayed after work at the bar. My coworkers and I split a fishbowl. I got absolutely smashed. The cooks started buying me shots; it was great. I like how everyone stays at the bar and hangs out after work. If I weren't trying to lose weight, I would do it more often.

I saw my coworker at the gym again today. I feel like she and I would have enough in common to become friends outside of work, but we'll see.

Luckily, my friend Cathy was working at the gym when I was there. I asked her my questions about strength-training. I wasn't sure if I should start upper body again, let alone continue with lower body, since my wrists are both so stressed out from waitressing and carrying out.

Cathy told me I should do my wrist exercises from PT every day, in addition to whatever else I do at the gym. Both wrists need to be stronger. She said I should start upper body again, because it's been months since I finished PT. She also showed me a way to massage the sore parts with a foam roll, and told me that I can do the same with some ice in paper cups after particularly stressful days at work.

Since I work nights, I haven't been able to fall asleep until 4 or 5 am. Or maybe it is not a result of work, but rather because I have been thinking about last summer, which makes nighttime difficult for me. Either way, that means that I've been sleeping until 1:15 pm or so. I will try to make it to the gym at 2 pm, which should give me enough time to eat afterward before heading into work at 4 or 4:30. That will mean that Sunday will be my day off from the gym, because work starts at 3 pm on Sundays.

Monday
Wrists- 15 min
Elliptical- 15+ min
Stretching-  30 min

Tuesday
Wrists- 15 min
Full body- 60 min
Stretching- 30 min

Wednesday
Wrists- 15 min
Elliptical- 15+ min
Stretching- 30 min

Thursday
Wrists- 15 min
Lower body- 35 min
Stretching- 30 min

Friday
Wrists- 15 min
Elliptical- 15+ min
Stretching- 30 min

Saturday
Wrists- 15 min
Upper body- 25 min
Stretching- 30 min

Teamwork

Yesterday, I went with my department to a conference in Minneapolis. Not only did my advisor pay for my airline ticket and registration at the last minute, but also I was blown away by our department teamwork and atmosphere.

We all sat in the back row, because Erin wanted to work on her dissertation (haha). My advisor was asking our advice on his presentation, so he kept passing his flashdrive from me to Jason (Erin's husband) to Erin, down the line and back again. Then we were also talking and passing notes the whole time. It reminded me of the good times in sixth grade, haha.

My advisor is really into eating healthy and exercising, like me. He showed me this article about how some woman put on a belt and it magically erased 2 inches from her waist in 20 minutes. He said, "I want one!"

We were both sitting there cracking up over that article. It was great. Then I wrote a note that said, "I'm crying right now. There are free cookies over by the water." My advisor stepped on my foot and was like, "Don't do it!!"

Haha. That's the thing that sucks about being gluten free. I'm used to the diet, and I like it. But I have trouble when things are free: cookies, breads, cakes, etc., and I can't have any. It just makes me very sad. Also, free lunch was provided at the conference, but the only thing I could eat was the fruit salad. Sucks =(

Anyway, I was enjoying how chummy my department was being. Also, Erin is perhaps even more addicted to Starbucks than I am. We made many trips to Starbucks throughout the day to keep our caffeine levels nice and happy. So there was that as well.

All in all, it was a fun day.