Rage

Well I'm currently failing at my New Year's Resolution.

I fucking hate my body. I hate it!!!!

Apparently, if 2013 was the year of injuries, 2014 is the year of injuries PLUS unexplained illnesses. I have had extreme fatigue for the last 2 weeks. At first, I thought it was because I was stressed, was starting classes again, etc. Then I thought I might not be eating enough, because my metabolism got crazy high and I was still only eating 1500 calories a day and was very hungry all the time.

But now I'm eating ~2000 calories a day, and it's helped a little but not a lot.

Then, I fucking got another sex injury. I fucking hate Crohn's disease. It's the WORST. Fucking hell.

Then, I got an itchy rash on both arms, which has now spread upwards towards my shoulders. This occurred right before I got pain under my chin/upper neck, which has now spread into my jaw.

Went to the doctor, who thinks the rash is "contact dermatitis" and that it will go away on its own in 2-3 weeks. Yeah, why the fuck would I get contact dermatitis on only my arms?? That makes no sense! What would have touched only my arms?? Other reasons why this doesn't make sense: I have not switched any beauty products, taken any new medications, been around any animals, or eaten anything weird right before this occurred. The only thing might have been the Turkish tea that Kyle brought into the office. I had some of that on Tuesday, and the rash occurred Wednesday. However, Kyle says it only contained pomegranate and some other fruits that I had already had before. And that STILL wouldn't explain why it's on my arms.

Then the doctor said the neck pain would go away on its own as well. Probably some muscle strain. Um ok... except that I did nothing to strain it at all. That's wonderful.

It makes me think that she's just not taking me seriously. I really think that something's wrong with me. I think that the fatigue, the rash, and the neck pain are all related. It's a gut instinct. And nobody fucking cares what I think. They all brush off my symptoms to stress.

I really hate that nobody seems to take me seriously. Ok ready for this? SORRY EVERYBODY THAT I HAVE A VAGINA. MAYBE IF I HAD A PENIS YOU WOULD TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.

Honestly.

Is it really too much to ask for a body that, you know, actually FUNCTIONS correctly????!