I was on the phone with Cameron the other day, and we were talking about how one of our friends isn't in a great relationship. I said, "Well she's in love. She's not thinking straight."
It occurred to me after I said that that this is exactly what love does. Love prevents us from thinking straight, and as a result makes us do crazy, irrational things that we would never do otherwise.
Translation: when we are in love, we put up with being treated like shit. We rationalize and rationalize, saying "he didn't mean it," or "maybe he's right and I was out of line to get mad," or whatever the fuck other bullshit excuses we make for the person we love.
Translation of the translation: love is frighteningly scary.
Fittingly, the song "Stay" by Rihanna and Mikky Ekko came on my iTunes just now. I was able to listen to it with moderate discomfort. But I'm glad I did, because it made me realize something else:
Love should not be about needing someone else to fill your (metaphorical) hole. Only you are responsible for filling that hole yourself. If you depend on someone else to fill your hole, chances are you will get trapped to put up with being treated like shit. Just like I was.
This is why I made the New Year's Resolution that I did. By being extremely kind to myself, and giving myself some love, I'm filling my hole myself. I don't need anyone to fill it, because I have myself.
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