Being Fooled (Again)

Every time I start to gain faith back in people, it always ends up being lost again.

Throughout my life, I've had the same thing happen to me over and over again:

1. Become really close with someone (friend, boyfriend, whatever)
2. Everything is sunny and wonderful
3. Because everything is sunny and wonderful, I believe that the friendship or the relationship is also going sunny and wonderful
4. Out of the blue, the other person picks one of the following:
• stops talking to me and shuts me out of his/her life
• brings up old shit that I thought had been resolved already
• treats me like shit

And let me tell you, I am sick and tired of it. Every time it happens, one of two things happen. The first thing that could happen is I tell myself, "That's it. I'm never trusting anyone ever again." The second thing that could happen is I tell myself, "I could decide never to trust anyone ever again, but what good would that do me? That's not healthy."

So I still don't have a solution to deal with something like this.

Number of "best friends" who have done this to me: 15
Number of boyfriends who have done this to me: 3
Number of family members who have done this to me: 1

Number of "best friends" I have had: 21
Number of boyfriends I have had: 6
Number of family members I have: 3


JUST LOOK at that data. After the Ray Thing, I thought it was only boys that I couldn't trust ever again. He had fooled me into thinking he really liked me, but then he actually didn't and I was thrown completely off guard. But now that I have been fooled AGAIN by a "best friend," I have re-examined the data, and I find that I should not trust anyone. Ever. People, in general, just suck. And I suck even more for allowing myself to be fooled by them.