Lying

Maybe the problem isn't that people are bad at communicating. Maybe the problem is simply that everyone lies. All of the time.

I just don't understand it. It's one thing for a white lie here and there. In instances where your friend can't just go and change or fix her outfit, it's fine to tell her that no, her jeans don't make her look fat. Don't inform her that she has deodorant stains on her shirt. You know, that sort of thing.

But what I can't understand is why people just lie unprecedented. If I don't ask them for their opinion, why do they feel the need to lie to me?

For instance, Lawrence went to see me play in the symphony. After the concert, he texted me saying it had been a wonderful concert, and he wanted to meet up with me to discuss it. Then, a few days later, he was telling me about how his mom thought he had spent a fortune on the tickets, and he said, "No, tickets cost a lot for GOOD orchestras. This wasn't."

Then why did you tell me that we did a good job??? I didn't ask you for your opinion! So why would you say it was wonderful if I didn't even ask?

Similarly, my ex-best friend Jeanne told me after a talent show that my group had been the best and that she had voted for me. Then, moments later, our mutual friend confided to me that she hadn't actually voted for me.

Like, it's one thing if I had asked her how we did or asked her who she had voted for. But I didn't ask. Yet she still felt the need to lie to me and tell me she voted for me.

I just don't understand. What's the point of lying to someone in that way? What are people trying to accomplish by doing that?

Then of course, there's the whole thing where people pretend that everything is fine, only to lash out later to say that it's not. So many people in my life have been guilty of this-- Mara and Ray, Jeanne, so many others. They all led me to believe that everything was just swell with us. Yet it wasn't. And for some reason they felt the need to mislead me into thinking that it was.

I do not understand it, but I wish I did. I want to know why people are so awful like that. Why can't they just be honest? Everything would be so much easier. There would be no guess-work. No questions. No misunderstandings.

Becky asked me the other day what my super-power would be if I could have one. The power I would have is to force people to tell me the truth. But only if I ask them for it.

Maybe the bitches and the assholes are onto something. Maybe it's just better to be upfront about how rude and inconsiderate you are, instead of lying about it, pretending that you're nice, sweet and innocent, and then waiting to unleash the inner beast once your prey is lulled into a false sense of security.