Promoting Myself

I had an interesting conversation with Erin the other day. We were talking about how sexism is still a major problem today, and also how we have no time to do anything and keep thinking that things will get better.

Me: Does it ever get better? I assume it will get better once I have a job.
Erin: No, it doesn't. If you're interested in promoting yourself-- and I know that you are-- there will always be more things for you to do. We're women. If we want to be successful, we have to be constantly promoting ourselves.

I think that what she said is very true. Erin is 15 years older than me, and already a pretty big deal in the field, so I trust her judgement on this sort of thing.

I've been busting my ass trying to finish this proposal, which is due tomorrow. I have it done, and it's been proofread by everyone in my committee, but I'm waiting on feedback from my software mentor. I'm hoping it goes through!

Next, I will get into those internships I've been putting off. Haha, there's always something else.

Anyway, I've been thinking I need to start enjoying life more, instead of waiting for it to get better. Fred has been helping me to feel better about the whole "being afraid of people" thing. I need to focus on the people in my life right now, instead of dwelling on those who left it. I do have a lot of close friends. And that is great :)

I'm already starting to feel a lot better. I've survived two 2.5-hour rehearsals... 3 more plus concert... hopefully my wrist won't die.

I've been having a lot more energy, and I felt energized after going to the gym today instead of exhausted. I need to work my way back into daily exercise. I'm definitely getting out of shape...

I think in order to feel better, I need enough energy and time to play viola AND go to the gym, almost every day. That also means dedicating enough time to stretching after both, and icing my wrist/heating my forearm after playing viola.

I need to make sure I'm taking care of myself and being stylish. My hair has looked blah for a long time, I think because I'm losing some of it (bad hair thinning genes). I should invest in some sort of volumizing products.

I need to embrace my current friendships. And relationships.

Oddly enough, now there are guys in my life. Currently going on dates with one, talking to another, and having a third introduced in the near future.

None of them are Tim, unfortunately. It sucks that it's never the guy we like who likes us back. I guess when I fall, I fall hard. I don't hold back. It's not something I can control.

It sucks because one guy I'm talking to was kind of a dick last night. That guy happens to be Tim's friend. But after I got mad at him, that made him start talking to me MORE. Wtf, I will never understand this. All I know is, when he was a dick, it was a complete straw man. It made me like the guy I'm dating, Dom, even more for being a gentleman.

But of course, none of them are Tim. And he's the one I really want. I want to talk to him more, but I'm afraid of coming off overbearing like Fred did. We'll see what happens I guess.