Confidence

One thing that Fred lacks is confidence. Guys often wonder why the "nice guys" are single, while the douches get all the girls.

Well first of all, if any guy describes himself as a "nice guy," it can mean he actually isn't. Like Ray. All I heard from Ray was, "I'm a nice guy. I'm not an asshole."

....Yeah. Sure. Nice straw man.

To be fair, I've done it myself. I used to describe myself as a "nice girl." Sure, I go out of my way to be kind and helpful to strangers (well, I used to anyway). Generally I am nice to people. However, I am capable of being quite a bitch. Most of the conversations I have with Laura and Cameron involve me showing my true colors and being my nasty old self. Examples:

Laura: I'll send that picture of a mailbox you sent me to Fred.
Me: If you do that, he'll be unhappy because I'm not there. So you should do it.

Or how about this:

Me: Mara deserves to suffer for what she did to me. She deserves to fail all her finals.

Or:

Me: "South Dakota will be a happening place before Eliza gets her license."





But Fred actually is a nice guy. He is the type of guy who is very gentlemanly-- holding open doors, paying for dinners, buying expensive gifts, offering rides, genuinely caring about peoples lives by talking to them all the time.

He is just not confident though. I feel like he does all that because he feels like he needs to do it in order to get people to like him. He's like some sort of sad puppy that looks up at you and is like "I really want you to be my friend. Please be my friend." And I don't want to because I hate dogs.

That is the downfall. Generally, the assholes tend to be confident. That's why girls are drawn to them.

Sure, girls appreciate the things that Fred does... when they return the feelings for the guy. It's just awkward that he's showering not only me, but also Becky, with this kind of attention. When neither one of us is romantically interested and he knows it. It makes me wonder, if he treats me and Becky the same when he claims to be interested in me, how would he treat a girlfriend different? He already treats us better than most boyfriends do. How would he step up his game for an actual girlfriend?


Anyway, it's just some food for thought. In the meantime, I'll stop referring to myself as a "nice girl." Because I'm not a nice girl. Nice girls don't wish that their enemies fail all their finals and they don't wish other people to suffer. Nice girls don't make fun of guys who are overly clingy and obsessive. Nice girls don't make fun of their good friend because her boyfriend told her she couldn't move in with him until after she got her drivers license, as well as the fact that she is not trying harder to get her license after having that conversation. Also, nice girls don't steal guys from their friends (guilty) and they don't knowingly become the Other Woman (also guilty).

Well, I do all those things. A lot of it comes from my independent/loner nature I suppose. Also, even though I think a lot of laws are stupid, I seem to have my own moral code of conduct. As in, anyone who is emotionally abusive deserves to suffer, and should be put in jail. It's probably one of the reasons I like Kill Bill so much-- she got to kill people who had deeply hurt her and betrayed her, and she got to get away with it. And probably the best part is that all of those people understood that they had it coming, that she would be seeking revenge for what they did to her, and that her revenge was even justified.

So now, I will refer to myself as a girl who knows what's up. A girl who has standards for the people in her life. A confident girl. An independent girl. A smart girl. A girl who will no longer chase people and force them to remain in her life. A girl who puts herself first always. That's all.