Happiness, Day 20

Today's gratitudes:

• Slept in a little today because it was my day off from the gym. Got up at 6:45 and did a little work before my 9 am class.
• Michael Jackson. I have really come to love his music!! Smooth Criminal is bangin'.
• So one of my students had answered a question on his last lab saying "I have no idea. Can you fail lab?" I wrote him a note back saying that if he is confused about the material, all he has to do is ask me for help; if he made that effort he shouldn't fail. Today he (and his friend!) stayed and worked harder on the lab, and both of them asked me questions. It made me happy that they cared enough to take my advice and that they were actually learning things.
• Some of the guys in my GIS class were being nice to me and giving me suggestions/helping me with my final project.
• My Mom gave me $100 for my Hannukkah present! Thank you Mom for paying for this month's fine payment...

Today's kindness:
Nick stopped in my lab near the end of it, and he was helping some of the students. He told them he had cut the problem they were working on for his class! That made them kinda annoyed.

Something like that would've made me mad before, because he kind of took over my class. But I didn't get mad. I thought about it and was like, "Nick is a good instructor. He isn't trying to make me look bad, because he thinks I'm smart and a good instructor. So I'm just going to let him explain stuff to them if he wants, and I'll use the time to get more of my work done. The fact that he dropped the question from his class and I didn't only served to increase my intimidating reputation." Haha! He actually did me a favor. I have issues gaining respect because I'm too nice and because I'm a small girl.

Today's reflection:
Well I thought about it, and I think I'm going about this happiness thing wrong. Tomorrow is the last of the 21-day happiness thing, and it definitely has worked to make me more positive, which does make me happier than I was. However, the main source of my happiness is not from myself, it's from other people. The way other people treat me. So I could make myself as happy as I want, but it's not going to much change the unhappiness I get as a result of other people mistreating me and disrespecting me. I need to think of a way to fix that problem. Once I know how to fix that problem, it won't be too hard.

I'm thinking about the times I've been successful in making changes to my habits. This year I have made excellent progress in taking care of myself. I eat healthier and less. I go to the gym 6 days a week, and I do 3 days of strength training, 4 days of stretching, and 4 days of cardio. I get enough sleep each night. Now that I wake up at 6 am, I go to sleep around 10 pm. I think actually I could get by with 1 hour less sleep, because I've been waking up around 4:45 am, falling back asleep, and then waking up on the tired side of the REM cycle. I started using makeup remover for healthier skin. I wear my retainer more regularly and use my acne cream more regularly. I moisturize WAY more frequently (thank you dry ND climate).

The reason I have been successful with these things is that I understand that changing a habit takes time, and that slip-ups occur sometimes. It's ok to slip up once in awhile, because what's important is that you get back on track afterward. Then for the more challenging habits, I found it useful to make a contract with myself outlining my goals. Then Aaliya co-signed the contract, so if I broke it I would be letting her down as well as myself.

So really, I just need to use these techniques toward trying to be happier. But before I can do that, I need to know what steps I should take to fix the problem.